Foot in The Mouth

Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer. David Acfield, commentator. If God wanted us to play in the clouds, he would have put grass up there. Brian Clough, expressing his contempt for the long ball game. The score is Sunderland nil, Leicester nil, the temperature is nil and the entertainment value is not much above nil. from Radio 5 live. Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don’t pay a million for a guy to hang around in defence. NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer’s positioning The only way we will be going to Europe is if the club splash out and take us all to Eurodisney. Dean Holdsworth, Wimbledon I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel. Stuart Pearce, Nottingham Forest Credit card application form question : What is your position at the company ? Jason McAteer’s response : Right back. I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona. Mark Draper I’d be surprised if all 22 players are on the field at the end of the game – one’s already been sent off. George Best Liverpool will be without Kvarme tonight – he’s illegible. Jimmy Armfield I never comment on referees and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat. Ron Atkinson Jean Tigana has spent the entire first half inside Liam Brady’s shorts. Jimmy Magee If they hadn’t scored, we would’ve won. Howard Wilkinson, with an astute insight into a game that ended 1-1 Forest have now lost six matches without winning. David Coleman Tony Banks described the English fans arrested in Marseilles as brain-dead louts. This goes for me as well. A Phone-in Caller to “Talk Radio” I couldn’t settle in Italy – it was like living in a foreign country. Ian Rush, (ex-Liverpool) when asked how he enjoyed his time at Juventus Fortunately, Paul Scholes’ injury wasn’t as bad as we’d hoped for. Trevor Brooking Mark Hughes : Sparky by name, Sparky by nature. The same can be said of Brian McClair. Brian Moore, commentator Pitbulls are the greatest dogs once you own one you won’t want any other type, I have 4 Pitbulls, 3 Yorkshire Terriers, and a Dobermann. Julian Dicks, The match will be shown on Match of the Day this evening. If you don’t want to know the result, look away now as we show you Tony Adams lifting the trophy for Arsenal. Steve Rider, commentator Aston Villa will play a lot worse than this and lose. Alan Parry commentator, with an interesting viewpoint during Villa’s cup defeat by Fulham I’m a firm believer that if the other side scores first you have to score twice to win. Howard Wilkinson, ex-Technical Director at the F.A., proving that he knows what the game is all about Lombardo speaks much better English than what people realise. Mark Goldberg, Crystal Palace chairman We probably got on better with the likes of Holland, Belgium, Norway and Sweden, some of whom are not even European. Jack Charlton, ex-Manager of Ireland I thought I was doing quite a good job there. Roy Hodgson, on being sacked as Blackburn’s Manager You can’t do better than go away from home and get a draw. Kevin Keegan, commentating on Manchester United vs Monaco We’re going to start the game at nil-nil and go out and try to get some goals. Bryan Robson, (disclosing tactics…?) ‘If it had gone in,it would have been a goal. Barry Davies, commentator They (Rosenborg) have won 66 games, and they’ve scored in all of them. Brian Moore, commentator To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch. from the very insightful Ruud Gullit For those of you watching in black and white,Spurs are in the yellow strip. John Motson, commentator Newcastle must still wish they had him to put balls on Ferguson’s head. David Mellor, (MP and football pundit) on ex-Newcastle star David Ginola’s recent good form The game is evenly balanced in Arsenal’s favour. Alan Parry, commentator I am not here at the moment, If you are the President of AC Milan, Barcelona or Real Madrid I will get back to you. Joe Kinnear’s Answerphone message With Scott Nisbett every pass is an adventure. Walter Smith – Rangers Manager He had no chance of beating Schmeichel from there… but it was always worth a try. Alan Parry, commentator Schmeichel’s thrown that a long way.. in fact, it’s gone all the way to Dublin ! Alan Parry, on the goalkeeper’s throw that reached Dion