Well The Fat Lady Gargles

Monday, 23 April 2001, 0:00
5 mins read

And how apt that we should do it with another shocking display of the terrible variety. ‘We had control in the first half’ said Hollins. True, we did, control of a very poor football match and then it was marginal control at times. Second half we just lay down and died in front of the 3000 die-hard people that were there.

Still, why should we be surprised? We’ve hardly put up much of a fight since we beat Stoke back in October. In fact since then we have taken just 19 points out of a possible 96. A frightening bloody statistic isn’t it? Or to put it another way 3 wins in 32 league games.

32 league games that saw us score 29 goals. 10 (10 Mark Aizlewood) of which came from Giovanni Savarese who will not be here next season.

We have taken 17 points out of a possible 60 at ‘fortress’ Vetch Field, winning just 3 times in 20 league games, scoring just 19 goals in the process (6 of them from the aforementioned Mr Savarese) I could go on but the statistics just get more and more depressing to read.

Apt, ironic or bad timing that one the same day we get relegated Cardiff City score 3 goals at York to take their season’s tally to NINETY goals and seal an immediate return to Division Two. Can you see us coming back this same way next season? Nope, nor me!

So at times like this it’s only appropriate to apportion blame to those that can be blamed. And start with the least obvious.

1. The Supporters – Anyone that blames the supporters is either insane, stupid or John Hollins. The supporters turn up week in week out, pay their money and desperately want the team to win. I know one bloke from Somerset who this season will have seen over FIFTY games involving the Swans by the season’s end. Every league match (42 to date) Every FA Cup Tie (One) Worthy Cup (Two) and LDV Trophy (Three) My sympathies are always with him for choosing this season to achieve the full-house. The players and management called for the supporters to turn up and they did so no blame can be apportioned here.

2. The Players – The players have to take some share of the blame, no doubt there. We have seasoned pros who were not good enough to perform at this level. It’s a harsh reality but there are some there. Of course there were performers some of which won’t be here come August to see us try to get back out of the basement division. Sad, but true. Frightens the sh!t out of me I know that.

3. Neil McClure – Oh yes, he has to take a percentage of the blame. He is the man in charge – the chairman after he forced Steve Hamer out. Now don’t get me wrong, Steve Hamer is NOT a saint or the god people would now like to believe he is. But I’d rather him to McClure – only marginally mind! McClure was here for the Morfa stadium and he f cked it up. Now he wants out but no-one buys a sinking ship do they – well not until it’s practically sunk anyway. He gave no money for signings, very rarely turned up to games and all in all doesn’t really give two hoots about Swansea City Football Club. The sooner someone buys this off him the better – he can go and watch Arsenal and relax in the knowledge that he had sucked a lot out of every single one of us.

4. Mike Lewis – It may seem harsh to blame the gopher but Liability is the one that is left in day to day charge of this football club. Oh my god, that sounds terrible when you write it. Mike Lewis in charge? I wouldn’t leave him to charge a battery let alone a football club. McClure did so a share of the blame must go there. This is a bloke that draws £90k+ a year in salary, drives a company jag and has a flat in the Marina and WE pay for it. A man that banned true supporters from sponsoring a game, a man who will verbally attack anyone who dislikes him. And there are quite a few people in that category. A man that is a complete waste of space and a ‘luxury’ (and I use that term loosely) that we cannot afford.

Take him out of the equation and we could have had Luke Beckett of the below mentioned Mark Robins. And can anyone explain what this bloke actually does for his money? Answers on a postcard please.

5. John Hollins/Alan Curtis – It’s horrible to have to include Curtis in this but they are a management team so they have to go together. Whether Curt agrees with what Hollins does is a different matter but they have to take their share of the blame together. And you may have guessed but here I put the bulk of the blame.

‘This squad is good enough for the 2nd division’ mumbled Hollins at the start of the season, today (Sunday) he admitted it wasn’t. F ck me John, we could see that from the start and you’re supposed to be the expert? ‘We will score and we will win games’ said John, fair play, he was right. We have scored so far in 22 of 42 league games and we won 7 of them.

One in three in which we scored isn’t a bad ratio – we just don’t score enough. But we knew that last season. All season long we have suffered players playing out of position, substitutions that make sense in someone’s head – presumably Hollins, team formations that don’t seem to be there and loss after loss after loss.

It’s like an Air Traffic Controller at Heathrow mapping plane’s journeys on the back of a fag packet – doomed for disaster. From where I stand he has no clue about what he is doing and when things get bad, he flips a coin to see what he does next. Make no mistake if this bloke is here next season we have problems on our hands because he does not have someone else’s team and players to play with. If you think that’s OTT just remember in three season’s he has yet to sign a player (permanent deal) with football league experience. NONE. Savarese was a good signing – the rest, they flatter to deceive and as for Mutton and Mumford.

Need I go on? Rotherham are pushing for a second successive promotion thanks no end to Mark Robins. A bloke that we could have signed last summer (BELIEVE IT) but Hollins dithered and dallied and in stepped Ronnie Moore.

The rest, as they say, is history. This man has also accused some supporters of being enemies of the club. How does that work then John? Enemies. Of course, you give your enemies £10 every other Saturday and line their pockets don’t you? Are you completely mad? Even Nick Cusack turned against him this season, that’s how bad it is. And of course, you doubt/know that Cusack isn’t alone.

If we’re going to apportion blame I do so as follows:

Supporters – 0% Players – 20% McClure & Lewis – 20% Hollins & Curtis – 60% Going back to something Hollins said. “This squad is good enough” Strangely enough, I think he could have been right. Under the right management and guidance it could have been good enough. Under the management and guidance of Mr Hollins it was woefully short of being that. Martin Thomas “I would have loved to stayed but he looked at me with a blank face. I made a decision someone had to” says it all. Steve Jones is desperate to stay – he’s been waiting for his contract since August. Micky Adams may be waiting so may Alan Cork, Steve Cotterell or any number of managers. Jonah is quality. We need him yet Hollins pisses him about. But don’t worry Bari Morgan’s got a contract so has Andrew Mumford. The future is bright. Not. It’s now time to end this Ramble as you’re probably bored. I am. John Hollins and the current regime have forced boredom on me.

Swansea City is no longer a pleasure at times, it’s something you have to endure because of your love for the club. Please give us new owners, a manager that has a clue and a couple of players to replace the ones that will go in the summer and let’s start playing football again. Please.

And one final note – anyone that thinks Steve Hamer is the holy savior just ask yourself ‘Who gave John Hollins that damned 3 year contract last summer?’ McClure, Lewis, Hollins – you had your chance and collectively you all botched it up – please leave now. And shut the door behind you.

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Images courtesy of Getty Images, Athena Picture Agency and Swansea City Football Club.

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