Humourous Quotes

Tuesday, 29 May 2001, 0:00
3 mins read

‘It’s a case of him (Eric Cantona) losing les marbles.’ – GARY LINEKER

‘Hagi has got a left foot like Brian Lara’s bat’ – DON HOWE

‘Hagi could open a tin of beans with his left foot’ – RAY CLEMENCE

‘There’s no width on the wings.’ – ANDY GRAY

‘We are now in the middle of the centre of the first half’ – DAVID PLEAT

‘The lad got over-excited when he saw the whites of the goalpost’s eyes.’ – STEVE COPPELL

‘To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch.’ – RUUD GULLIT

‘The Saudis would struggle in Europe because of that problem with those prayers five times a day.You don’t know if they’re going to turn up for training.I’m being serious.’ – DON HOWE

‘He’s chanced his arm with his left foot.’ – TREVOR BROOKING

‘They’ve come out at half time and gone bang.’ – RON ATKINSON

‘It’s the end of season curtain raiser’ – PETER WITHE

‘They’re still in the game, and they’re trying to get back into it.’ – JIMMY HILL

‘Signori has all the tricks up his book.’ – RAY WILKINS

‘It was one of those goals that’s invariably a goal.’ – DENIS LAW

‘I’d say he’s the best in Europe, if you put me on the fence.’ – BOBBY ROBSON

‘Glenn is putting his head in the frying pan.’ – OSSIE ARDILES

‘We’re not used to weather in June in this country.’ – JIMMY HILL

‘England now have three fresh men,with three fresh legs.’ – JIMMY HILL

‘A game is not won until it is lost.’ – DAVID PLEAT

‘Wimbledon are putting balls into the blender.’ – RODNEY MARSH

‘Di Matteo’s taken to playing in midfield like a duck out of water.’ – PETER OSGOOD

‘Poor Miklosko. Hasn’t had to make a save yet he’s let three goals in.’ – TREVOR FRANCIS

‘There’s Bergkamp standing on the halfway line, with his hands on his hips, flailing his arms about.’ – JOHN SCALES

‘If England get a point, it will be a point gained as opposed to two points lost.’ – MARK LAWRENSON

‘Unfortunately, we don’t get a second chance. We’ve already played them twice.’ – TREVOR BROOKING

‘[Phil Neville] was treading on dangerous water there…’ – RON ATKINSON

‘Both sides have scored a couple of goals, and both sides have conceded a couple of goals.’ – PETER WITHE

‘That’s twice now he [Terry Phelan] has got between himself and the goal.’ – BRIAN MARWOOD

‘Stoichkov is pointing at the bench with his eyes.’ – DAVID PLEAT

‘I think it’s that lack of width with his height.’ – TREVOR BROOKING

‘I’ve had this sneaking feeling throughout the game that it’s there to be won…’ – RON ATKINSON

‘If you just came into the room and didn’t know who was who you’d obviously say Newcastle looked the most likely to score.’ – TERRY PAINE

‘If there’s a weakness in Chelsea’s defence, it’s in their defence.’ – Radio 5

‘I would also think that the replay showed it to be worse than it actually was.’ – RON ATKINSON

‘Mirandinha will have more shots this afternoon than both sides put together.’ – MALCOLM MACDONALD

‘The Arsenal defence is skating close to the wind.’ – JACK CHARLTON

‘I think that was a moment of cool panic there.’ – RON ATKINSON

‘Beckenbauer has really gambled all his eggs.’ – RON ATKINSON

‘He’s very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself nobody will catch him.’ – BOBBY ROBSON

‘He has a great understanding of where the goalkeeper is in relationship to the goal.’ – DAVID PLEAT

‘With eight minutes left, the game could be won in the next five or ten minutes’ – JIMMY ARMFIELD

‘Brazil, the favourites – if they are the favourites, which they are…’ – BRIAN CLOUGH

‘If history is going to repeat itself I should think we can expect the same thing again.’ – TERRY VENABLES

‘They didn’t change positions, they just moved the players around.’ – TERRY VENABLES

‘He has got perfect control over the ball right up to the minute he lets it go.’ – PETER WALKER

‘They’re all on top of their game – fans and players alike.’ – DAVID FAIRCLOUGH

‘They’ve missed so many chances they must be wringing their heads in shame.’ – RON GREENWOOD

‘If you’re going to score one goal or less, you’re not going to get your victories.’ – TREVOR BROOKING

‘Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I’m sure today’s won’t be any different.’ – TREVOR BROOKING

‘That’s football Mike – Northern Ireland have had several chances and haven’t scored, but England have had no chances and scored twice.’ – TREVOR BROOKING

‘Fortunately, Paul Scholes’ injury wasn’t as bad as we’d hoped for.’ – TREVOR BROOKING

‘It’s end to end stuff, but from side to side’ – TREVOR BROOKING

‘He [Brian Laudrup] wasn’t just facing one defender : he was facing one at the front and one at the back as well.’ – TREVOR STEVEN

‘He’ll be giving everything, but he hasn’t got everything to give.’ – IAN ST JOHN

‘Football’s football: If that weren’t the case it wouldn’t be the game that it is.’ – GARTH CROOKS

‘And there’s Ray Clemence looking as cool as ever out in the cold.’ – JIMMY HILL

Images courtesy of Getty Images, Athena Picture Agency and Swansea City Football Club.

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