Secret Diary – 23-30 Jul

Monday, 30 July 2001, 0:00
2 mins read

Monday July 23

Off to Newport today for another of those premenstrual games. We lost the game 2-1 but it doesn’t matter as we could have won 4-0 had we scored 3 more and they didn’t score at all. Bought myself a phrase book before the game "Teach yourself sense in three easy lessons" should come in handy as the season gets older.

Tuesday July 24

Two people came into my office to speak to me today, Alex somethingorother and Barry Island. I said that I was not going to be fooled by rogue trialists any more and told them to leave. Alan said that they were actual players and I told him not to be so stupid. Mr Lewis has told me that there is no more money for players so I bought him some Embassy instead.

Wednesday July 25

Signed Marmalade Sidecar from France. I presume he is a good player as Mr McIntosh said he is, I decided that he should be nicknamed ‘Big Mama’ not really sure why but it sounds good and it’s easier than shouting Marmalade from the stands. I may give all the players nicknames this season as I can’t remember their names.

Thursday July 26

Someone else signed today, Chris Todd. I knew he must be a good player as I remember when he was in that Childrens TV show in the late 70s. I always remember sitting at home after training with Arsenal and saying "There goes Todd" He doesn’t seem to have aged much apart from the fact that he has grown some hair.

Friday July 27

Went to Jason Smith’s mum’s house for tea. Very nice and she took me to see a team play football. They must have been a foreign team as all the players had long names that didn’t make sense. The foreign side could have won the first half 4-0 but won it just 1-0, but lost the second 3-0. Still, the draw for one win each seemed fair enough but the bloke in charge of the foreign side has his work cut out.

Saturday July 28

Spent the day in London. Went to Hyde Park in the morning and then shopping to Harrods in the afternoon. I bought myself an automatic arm folder to save some energy for those long nights in November when we are playing in a game. Bumped into Mr McClure and we had a nice chat about Arsenal. He remembers seeing me there when he was a mere amateur pie eater.

Sunday July 29

That Mr Lewis is a shrewd man. He has realised that if we put up the ticket prices for the Jamaican game then we will make more money. Smart move, I was going to the Party in the Park on the same day but I shall now go to the Vetch instead as it is bound to be more value for money. With this man in charge we cannot fail and we have almost the same backroom staff that won us the 3rd division championship. Things are looking up.

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