BJB – Day 3

Monday, 26 May 2003, 0:00
6 mins read

Home > Story Index >Day 3 In The Big Jack Brother House

25.05.03 – 08.42am – Peter Owen wakes first and congratulates himself on the deal he struck last night to buy six hours sleep and pay for just three. Leigh is still asleep, he has collected half an hour off each other housemate and should be there until at least 12 o’clock. All the other housemates remain asleep.
25.05.03 – 08.57am – As John Hollins walks into the kitchen, Peter remarks "Did you sleep well John?" There is no response from John as he sits down (arms folded naturally) on the comfy chairs.
25.05.03 – 9.18am – most of the housemates are now up with the exception of Leigh and – you’ve guessed it – John Williams.
25.05.03 – 9.47am – It’s Steve Watkin’s turn to make the breakfast. The housemates soon realise this is a bad mistake as he cracks three eggs on the floor and the bacon doesn’t make the frying pan as Steve-o is holding it up to well.
25.05.03 – 10.13am – Discussion turns to Cardiff as the housemates remember that it is the play off final for them today. Reeco re-counts the tale of Cardiff City supposedly having 100,000 enquiries for tickets this week. Myra faints as she remembers that she can only answer 8 telephone calls per day. John Hollins uses drinks mats to explain the formation he would play if he was Lennie Lawrence. "That bloke Earnshaw would make a good right back, Gabbidon with his height should be a useful addition on the wing and that nice Mr Legg bloke I would play up front" – the rest of the housemates begin a "Hollins Out" chant out of habit.
25.05.03 – 10.36am – Much discussion is still focused on the play-off final. Nick and Leighton are now embroiled in a heated debate about whether Swansea fans should want Cardiff to win. Leighton believes that they should but anyone wanting them to is just plain stupid whilst Nick is more concerned with telling Leighton to insert something up his rear end. The rest of the housemates are ignoring this bar Peter who is thinking of the headline to go next to the word "EXCLUSIVE"
25.05.03 – 11.14am – John Williams has entered the discussion and is recounting tales of his time at Ninian Park. I could tell you every inch of the pitch at Ninian" he says "especially the right part between the dug out and the edge of the penalty area. I used to play with Legg but we had to cut out his throw ins as they went too far for me"
25.05.03 – 12.23pm – The housemates have been busy in the last hour. The comfortable seating area has been renamed "The Loftus Road stand" and they have made blue and white banners out of pairs of John Hollins’ underpants.
25.05.03 – 1.58pm – James Thomas, Leon Britton and Jason Smith are in the bathroom comparing sizes of contract offers for next season. James comments that "he has a decent sized one but would like one bigger if he possibly could", Leon is "surprised at the size of his for one so young and short" whilst Jason "used to have a much bigger one but with injuries and age catching up on him, it will never be that big again" Nick and Myra have caught the end of this conversation and it is all Nick can do to stop a grinning Myra bursting into the bathroom.
25.05.03 – 3.01pm – The housemates all gather round the dining room to hear this weeks task. They have wagered 35% of next week’s food budget on this, presumably hoping that pie magnets Leigh or Peter will have left the house by then. The task states that "housemates must keep John Williams awake for more than 12 hours a day for the next three days" Collectively 10 people groan wishing they had wagered less against something that seems impossible whilst Leighton just comments that he was an ex-professional "Keeping someone awake person" In unison he is told to shut the f k up!
25.05.03 – 4.12pm – Less than an hour until the task starts and the housemates have put John Williams to bed. In 72 hours between 5pm today and 5pm Wednesday he has to be awake for 36 of them. They are planning to get him up in three hour shifts and will let him sleep for three hours in between them. They are not convinced they can do this.
25.05.03 – 5.28pm – John has been awake for twenty-eight minutes but the housemates are more distracted now by the fact that there is mass cheering outside. It is only when James Thomas points out that it "must be the whole Welsh nation cheering a Cardiff City goal" that they realise what is going on. There is now a subdued atmosphere in the house not helped by John Hollins comments of "If he had missed he wouldn’t have scored" All 12 housemates thanks their lucky stars that they are unable to read/hear the reaction from the Welsh media.
25.05.03 – 6.12pm – The first two housemates tasked with keeping John awake until 8pm are Steve Watkin and Nick Rees. All housemates have decided that the best way to keep him awake is to have two watching him for the three hours, taking it in turns to slap him every five minutes. Nick by now though is getting a bit annoyed as every time it is Watkin’s turn he misses Williams and slaps Nick across the face.
25.05.03 – 6.59pm – The housemates decide that Nick is about to completely lose it with Watkin and swap the two of them for John Hollins and Leon Britton. Britton is allowed to slap John Williams across the ankles as he can’t reach any higher and John Hollins decides that there is no need for slapping as Williams "is good enough to stay awake on his own"
25.05.03 – 8.01pm – John Williams is safely tucked up in bed for the next three hours and the housemates settle down as Leighton James makes them dinner. 13 portions of food are made, 1 each for 10 of the housemates and three for James Thomas. Leighton busies himself in the kitchen and refuses offers of help from Myra by saying that "no-one in this house can cook as good as me. I taught Gary Rhodes all he knows"
25.05.03 – 10.58pm – Time to wake John Williams up and it’s Myra’s turn to keep him awake. She devises her own plan by sitting down with John and starting a conversation "During the War…….." the housemates quickly stop her fearing John will be asleep by quarter past eleven. They assign Jason Smith to sit with the two of them.
25.05.03 – 11.23pm – Near disaster in the house. Instead of Myra’s war stories, Jason is describing his injury problems to John and he is close to being asleep. Reeco shouts to the group "Mr Williams is about to go to sleep. Can someone keep Mr Williams awake, I don’t know how but somehow we have to make sure that Mr Williams doesn’t sleep or Mr Williams will cost us our food budget for next week. Super, Super Mr Williams, Super Super Mr Williams" Leon Britton is assigned to bite his ankles (Williams’ not Reeco’s!)
26.05.03 – 1.32am – Just half hour left and all the housemates can go to bed. Surprisingly, they are finding it easy at the moment to keep John awake. This could possibly have something to do with the fact that Nick has plugged him directly into an electrical socket and every ten minutes he flicks the switch on. John’s normally short hair has turned into a full blown afro style.
26.05.03 – 2.03am – the housemates all retire to bed. Myra insists that Leon will sleep better if they leave a night light on in the bedroom, and the housemates use their suitcases to act as a bumper in his bed during the night. Leon looks happy as he goes to sleep sucking his thumb.
26.05.03 – 2.47am – all housemates are now asleep. Myra is woken briefly and asked to stop snoring but other than that it appears that it is going to be a peaceful night in the Big Jack Brother house.

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