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| 02.07.03 – 10.22am – The housemates are gathered on the sofa to start the enactment of their play for Big Jack Brother. The first scene will contain Leigh as Huw Jenkins and Myra as Dave Morgan. They are sat in the boardroom waiting for Roberto Martinez to turn up for contract talks. | |||
| 02.07.03 – 10.24am – Nick Rees as Roberto walks in to meet Huw and David. He shakes hands with them and they offer him a glass of sangria to make him feel at home. Huw explains how they want Roberto to run their midfield and explain that he won’t be paid as no-one at the Vetch is paid anymore they just work there on a voluntary basis. Roberto is less than pleased with this scenario but the talks continue until the directors invite Brian Flynn to join them in the room. | |||
| 02.07.03 – 10.33am – In walks Leon Britton as Brian Flynn. Brian explains to Roberto how he is planning to build a team around him. He takes off his glasses and puts small bits of plastic in his eye which he explains are his contacts and he expects to use these over the course of the coming season. Both ‘Huw’ and ‘David’ groan at the corniness of the joke. However, the negotiations are not finished there as the directors explain and they invite James Thomas as Reg Pike to join the meeting. | |||
| 02.07.03 – 10.41am – James Thomas walks into the room complete with loan mac and camera around neck. He explains to Roberto that he will be his personal photographer during his time in Swansea and will photograph the whole experience for him. James explains how his name is really Major Reg Pike to which Roberto asks him what he got his major in – physics or biology? Reg takes fourteen pictures while he is in the room with Roberto including one of him putting out his big cuban cigar. | |||
| 02.07.03 – 11.03am – Peter Owen as Dianne Griffiths has now joined the group in Myra’s best Frock. He is explaining to Roberto the commerical opportunities of his move to Swansea. He starts by sticking to the script and estimating how many Martinez shirts will be sold in the club shop but then old habits prove hard to make as he starts to interview him exclusively for Swans World at 85p per minute. | |||
| 02.07.03 – 11.22am – Roberto has been convinced on everything bar the money. He has asked for a club car – the directors have compromised by offering to pick him up and drop him off every time he wants to go somewhere. He wants wages, the club have compromised by offering him the chance to work for free with a room in Myra’s house, lifetime access to Swans World, four copies of the Dutch Documentary and unlimited use of Andrew Mumford as his personal slave. It is now just down to the medical. | |||
| 02.07.03 – 11.51am – Jason Smith has done a remarkably good job of providing the medical and has not injured himself, Roberto once. He advises that he will be back ten minutes with the results and then Roberto can sign on the dotted line. | |||
| 02.07.03 – 12.14pm – Jason is back with the results and a worried look on his face. He explains to the group that the results are not good. Roberto has fourteen broken bones over his body, has torn cruciate ligaments in his leg, has six pulled muscles, three lacerations and twelve bad cuts. Roberto explains that this cannot be true and snatches the results of Jason. "you idiot" he claims you have the results mixed up these belong to you. And they all lived happily ever after. Big Jack Brother thanks them for the effort and advises that the results will be with them later in the day. | |||
| 02.07.03 – 1.22pm – Big Jack Brother advises the group that they were impressed with the quality of the play and have increased their food budget this week by 75% as a result. However, they were concerned that they could not see ‘Brian Flynn’ over the chair he was standing behind, Myra looked more like Dave Morgan than the individual and Jason Smith had doctored his own medical notes to make them sound better. | |||
| 02.07.03 – 3.21pm – The housemates are shattered and are all lying on the sofas. James Thomas has got into the role of Reg Pike and is taking three pictures of everyone whilst Peter Owen is trying to sell anything that he sees in the house. | |||
| 02.07.03 – 11.29pm – It’s been another long day in the BJB house but a successful one at that. One of the housemates has just taken part in his/her last weekly task – but which one? You can help decide by casting your vote at the link below | |||
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| Big Jack Brother – The Main Index | |||
| What Is Big Jack Brother? | Meet The Inmates | ||
| BJB Makes The Western Mail | BJB Makes The Evening Post | ||
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