Poster Profile-Scousejack

Saturday, 16 July 2005, 0:00
1 min read

Poster Profiles – Scousejack

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POSTER PROFILE – Scousejack

He was brought up next to Manselton school and quickly found a talent for making money by refusing to return the balls that went over the wall into his garden then selling them to his mates.

At Bishop Gore Grammar he quickly realised he needed to improve his common ways and his mum sent him to elocution lessons and learned to play classical piano. Being expelled for cribbing at O level wasn’t in his life plan so he went off the rails a bit causing havoc in the Kingsway most Saturday nights and on the Nurses night at the old Top Rank

He was hounded out of Swansea in the late 70s by Worried and Angry Parents of impressionable teenagers, Scousejack (richard to his mum) landed on the Wirral Peninsular in the days when it was in Cheshire not in the Abomination that is Merseyside county. He becamewhere he quickly acclimatised to the drier climate and foundthe posher women more to his taste.

Having astrong Manselton accent was a distinct advantage in the Champagne Belt as it was deemed to be of a high curiosity value in bedding the offspring of barristers, accountants drug dealers and other social elite.

Amazingly he joined the Merseyside Police as his new partner told him he need a steady job.Although enjoying upsetting people especially Miners and Toxteth s brothers he did leave the Force twenty years later as probably the laziest,feckless and unmotivated copper everywhere. He prides himself with the fact that he conned various Chief Constables into promoting him and giving him postings that suited his sloth.

His present employment is only privy to close friends (both of them) although he spends a lot of time avoiding Inland Revenue.

Favourite Food………..Cooked

Drink…………………….Chateau Laffite 69.or Earl Grey with Lemon

Most likely to say……Im not a Scouser

Least like;y to say…….Im a Scouser

All time hero…………..Albert Tatlock..St Athan close second

Favourite Visiting Fan…Mozzer.without doubt a decent man

Swansea’s version of..Albert Tatlock with touch of Victor Meldrew.

Favourite posters,Watchman,Jeffnich,EXCB

Least liked poster.Stagmad

Greatest Honour………Being named Joint Chief knobhead with reeco by Bury Boardi

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Images courtesy of Getty Images, Athena Picture Agency and Swansea City Football Club.

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