Diarree of Pembrokeshire’s Blue – Part IX

Every now and again there are posts that appear on the forum that can't fail but to make us laugh. Because of the nature of the forum with so many posts per day these can soon get lost in the archives of the web site and so we look to preserve them more prominently at the front end of things. And that is why, Planet Swans and Barry_Island proudly present for you, Diarree of Pembrokeshire's Blue

Five moons from Southend game, 3 sleeps from Wemberlee. Neh, neh, neh, neh, neh.

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mum has put too pownds on my molbile because it is the Yeaster Hollidays so I cann tork to ew from my bed agen. I finks she will top me up agen for Saturday.

I am Welch, I am Welch, I am Welch.

My Dad has jest told mee I am not Welsh even thow he always sed I woz before. I am English he sez but I thinks I is Welsh because we moved hear wen I was free for a bitter life. Dad sez I woz borned with c**k-knees. After Wemberlee I am gowing to get the boyz rownd on him. Norwun larfs abowt the way I wark. He sed at least you shuld gnaw ewe way rownd Lundun. Ha ha.

I didn’t go to see West Harm the other nyte, coz the X1 stops running after dark, it is so ruff down ere.

I am getin exited abowt Saturday. It is cule to go to Wemblee. Neh, neh, neh, neh, neh. Tonight I practised having my face painted for the big day with the lards.

Who plays number 18 for Cadriff? I betz ew dunt know.

I am finking about going to Lipswitch for the next gaim after Wemblee, butt I won’t go. It is the start of next seeson after Wemblee. I cant wayt to see us have the cupp presented after we beatz West Broom on Sunday. It will be grate.

Wots ewer favurit pub? Myne is outside Spar by the forn bocks. I went down there last noit with the lards. Mangled Spekalightus Brau from Aldi is my favurit bere micksed with dyet lemonaid. Its free persent strong before I micks it and £1.39 for sicks canns. I am ewsed to micksin it.

Mum has eyend my new away kit. Everywun in dads pub sez it is Cadirff’s best kit hefer. I stood owtside the forn bocks last night singing my old singings such as:

“Cheer up Obafeme Martinez, oh wot can it mean…”

Ew knows the rest.

One of my maits rekons I az got a Swansea kit but I hit him and showed im the back where it sez

1
8
Cardiff

I even got an ex Cadiff player do sine it last nyte owtside Dad’s pub. He as gott funny writin so it is hard to tell hiz name.

My mait az got a bearded dragan as a pett? Az ew gott anee petts? I betz ew likes tautoyses. Bearded dragans wood kills Swans if they saw won. I saw a cartune abowt it wunce on a flag it was. Tee hee. I aven’t gott any petts. Dai 2 spunes keeps nits in his hair.

I will fool the police on Wemblee day. Ew is not aloud to tek canns on the busses to Wemblee. Ew wuldn’t know at wood ew? Neh, neh, neh, neh, neh. Butt I am clever because I az punctured all my cans of Mangled Spekalightus with a cumpass and drained all the bere off. Down my froat. Yum Yum. I have now filled em back up with Polar Bear cola from Macy’s in the next village. I bort it there so they didn’t ask me my age, ey never do. So when I tek my canns of bere on the bus I will tell the police it is coca cola. And they will. Believe me.

I am gowing to have an affere when I am older beacus I likes the waltzers and dodjems. When I duz the cocconutt shy I pretends the coccosnutts are Swainsey fans. Dad duznt let me do em any more since I ryoted on the stall too ears ago in Porfcall. Nutz it woz.

Enjoy ewer exciting gem on Saturdee who ew playing? Mansfield ha, ha, ha.

Wembley is so eggsiting.

Have you ever herd of a Cardiff player corled A Plonka, I think? I azn’t.

Mum went bonking mad with me when I got home at 9.10pm for having my face paynted.. Dad sed it will be hard to get two undercoats and a coat of gloss off before Satarday. At leestt the culus match my new away kit. Blak and wyte. Boo hiss.

Still looking for Kay Sarah.

Musst go noity noit now.

Y r we?

Blooooooooooooooooooooooo………………

You can view the previous diaree entry here