Diarree of Pembrokeshire’s Blue – Part X

Every now and again there are posts that appear on the forum that can't fail but to make us laugh. Because of the nature of the forum with so many posts per day these can soon get lost in the archives of the web site and so we look to preserve them more prominently at the front end of things. And that is why, Planet Swans and Barry_Island proudly present for you, Diarree of Pembrokeshire's Blue

Dear Jakarmi

Two sleeps and one change of sheets to go.

Duz anyone know where I cun get sum turpz? I’ve tried sanding my face down and its starting to urt.

We are going to Wembelee, We are going to Wembelee neh, neh, neh, neh, neh
We are going to Wembelee, We are going to Wembelee neh, neh, neh, neh, neh
We are going to Wembelee, We are going to Wembelee neh, neh, neh, neh, neh
We are going to Wembelee, We are going to Wembelee neh, neh, neh, neh, neh
We are going to Wembelee, We are going to Wembelee neh, neh, neh, neh, neh
We are going to Wembelee, We are going to Wembelee neh, neh, neh, neh, neh
We are going to Wembelee, We are going to Wembelee neh, neh, neh, neh, neh
We are going to Wembelee, We are going to Wembelee neh, neh, neh, neh, neh
We are going to Wembelee, We are going to Wembelee neh, neh, neh, neh, neh
We are going to Wembelee, We are going to Wembelee neh, neh, neh, neh, neh

If I keeps iz gowin for 15 minits we’d still be on BBC Wales News. I wunderz if Burnsley are getting the same coveridge? Who cares. We uz reached the final of the premium cup competition in the world.

Well it is now, beacuse the FAW Premier cup has been scrapped so more munney can be spent on us by BB Sea Whales.

To reach this stage in the competition we az beatened:

Chased town – that’s what you really is. Ha ha.
Hairy Foot
Wolf my Hampton and
Midden’s Bra

That’s why we twelth in the leeg.

Are ew all eggsited about ew big game against Mansfield? Ha ha.

Did ew see BBC Wales news. If ever I wuz worried about witch paty to vote for in an erection. I now know who would get my vort.

Jasun Mohammed of course. BBC whales sed ew wantz us to win as well. Ha ha. Grate weekend for Welsh sport they sed. Sumone must have forgot to tell wrecscum. Suckas. Where can I get a Rodry haircut?

My Dad asked if I cun get him seats for the cup final by phoning BBC Wales. He is sore funny. He sed it looks like ey is now a ticket agency for bulbhirds and he az alwez fancied watching a West Broom v Burnsley gem. Ha ha. I will get the Sloper Doper cru on to im wen I getz back.

I wantz a Rodry Morgan air cut when I cums back as well. He is so cule. He is our assistant manager. Mr Kinnock is our p***-ferapist. Az ew seen the video of him ryoting on Brightun Beach. Top notch.

Mum has bort me sweetz to go from Summerfield in tenby. I az eaten em already and torled her they will be cheeper in the services. She is so dull. Dad haz cum horm from work real down, sed he couldn’t get any muney out today as all the cashpoints in wales arnt working. He sed he will give me my pocket muny on Monday. Tight gitt. Good job I kept all my munny from when I did my “penny for the jack” outside the pub in November. Ha ha.

No rume on our coach now as Dai Spunes has booked a seat for all his mate. But if ew is stuck there is 5 going from My stake. R u watching, R u watching R u watching jack pasta?

Dai 2 spunes is putting his best clobber on for Sunday. Stoney island it is. He az got pockets on the sleeves for his spunes. Top boy.

Duz ew like gardning? I dun;t. Dad sed I can earn sum money by cutting the lorns. I dun’t know what flowers ey are so I cut all of em in mum’s garden. She was wo pleezed she started to cry. Urley nnight tonite coz Dad sed I can set orf tomorrow if I want.

Did ew see our hewge flag on TV. We is the Pride of Whales. And ew couldn’t see where it used to say Hyper Valu on there either. I like Spar iduz. They sponsas our stand ey do. Wot is ewer favurit shop? Ey sells tellies in my spar, and they have got em all plugged in so ew can see ewself in different parts of the shop. Good init. Bet ew likes Tescoes coz ey is blue and white.

Neh, neh, neh, neh, neh.

I am not Hinglish.

Speek to ew soon.

Y r we?

Billlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllious

You can view the previous diaree entry here