BJB – Day 4 – JackArmy.net

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26.05.03 5.03am – An early start to the day for Peter Owen and Leigh Dineen. First off they have to wake John from his sleep. Three punches from Leigh have failed to work as has the promise of an interview on Swans World from Peter. After twenty minutes of trying, Leigh hits the nail on the head when he yells "Flynn wants to offer you a contract" Williams though is beaten to get up by James Thomas, Jason Smith and Leighton James who stands and shouts "I’m in training, I’m in training"

26.05.03 – 6.13am – With the whole house now awake they decide to take in the early morning sunshine in the Big Jack Brother garden. All 12 housemates are surprised to find an unusual glow in the sky. Shouts from outside the perimeter fence tell them that Cardiff won their play-off final and they realise that the glow is the one from the Welsh population at their success – similar to the one that you used to see in the Ready Brek adverts.

26.05.03 – 6.48am – John Williams is being kept awake by the housemates using him as a makeshift football in a game of five a side. John Hollins is the only one not participating – he has chosen to manage both teams. The game is deadlocked at 0-0 strangely enough with one sides attack of Myra and Steve Watkin surprisingly unable to get past the pie eating defence of Leigh and Peter Owen.

26.05.03 – 8.04am – another three hours completed and the housemates allow John Williams to go back to bed. Nick Rees offers to make the rest breakfast Moscow style. This basically consists of Bacon and Eggs inside bigger bacon and eggs which are concealed inside even bigger bacon and eggs (think about it!)

26.05.03 – 10.12am – The housemates are bored. Very bored. They are now starting to realise that 63 days in the BJB house is comparable to listening to Sam Hammam express how huge Cardiff are. They decide to take Leon Britton for a walk around the garden. All goes well until Leon pauses to cock his leg against two trees and Leighton James is sent back to the kitchen later on to pick up the pooper scooper.

26.05.03 – 11.04am – Time to wake John Williams up again. James Thomas heads into the bedroom but when he gets there he finds that John has gone. Confusion sets in amongst the house as they begin the search for John. He is eventually located in his favourite position – in the garden, on the bench.

26.05.03 – 11.24am – To help try and keep him awake, the housemates ask John to make them coffee. To much merriment Myra announces she prefers hers black which puts the fear of god into Willo but into the kitchen he proceeds. The plan backfires when John lets all the hot water run down the side with no effort to get it into the middle.

26.05.03 – 1.14pm – Leighton James is discussing his greatness in presenting phone-ins on Real Radio. He is trying to convince the housemates that there is no-one better at phone-ins and in a previous life he must have been a professional radio presenter. James Thomas asks Leighton if he believes that he is always right and Leighton spends the next twenty minutes explaining how he is not always right but he is certainly never wrong and that no-one should question his ability. Nick Rees, Leon Britton and Reeco have a side bet in guessing how many blood vessels will burst in Leighton’s head before he shuts up.

26.05.03 – 1.32pm – All the shouting in the house has woken John Williams twenty minutes early. The housemates are astounded to see him up so chirpy. Williams announces how he feels a new man all of a sudden and he believes that there will be a contract for him this summer at a Premiership club. "In your dreams" announces Jason Smith, Williams falls asleep again immediately to test to see if Jason is right.

26.05.03 – 3.12pm – Peter Owen and Nick Rees are deep in discussion over the merits of Swans World. Peter tells Nick that he should sign up as he lives in Moscow and this is the only way that he gets to see the goals. He believes that Nick should sign up now as he gets four minutes and seven seconds of free coverage if he pays for two years and that he can actually see the goals before they happen due to the time difference between Swansea and Moscow. Nick responds in his usual friendly style that "I could see the goals free if I slammed this web cam up your a se" Peter decides to leave the rest of his sales spiel until another time.

26.05.03 – 4.42pm – Leigh has been very quiet during his three days in the house so Big Jack Brother calls him into the diary room to have a chat with him. Leigh reveals that he is missing his friends David and Huw but most of all he is missing his Supporters Trust chairman badge. He says that he feels lost without it. He is also a bit worried that his football team will be okay without him. Big Jack Brother promises to find out what is happening and will get back to him. There is still something troubling Leigh though and after ten minutes of questions he confesses that he is really missing his other friends Marilyn, Nigel and ‘Sparky’. Big Jack Brother advises him that he has friends inside the house and he could always play with them instead (not literally!) which cheers Leigh up immensely. He says that he will ask them to play the same games he plays with Marilyn etc and leaves the diary room to see if they can have a tea party.

26.05.03 – 6.38pm – John Williams has been awake for almost four hours now – most of it unaided. John Hollins suddenly remembers that he signed Williams to come back to Swansea and spends the next twenty minutes stating that he actually wanted to sign John in 1994 but it took him until 2001 to make the decision to do so.

26.05.03 – 8.59pm – Mealtime again in the house and this time the turn of Leon to do the cooking. After much movement in the kitchen, the remaining housemates are shocked to see served in front of them liquid potatos, peas and chicken. Leon explains that his mummy cooks it for him all the time and it’s lovely. John Hollins is pleased as he can eat it with a straw which in turn saves him unfolding his arms.

26.05.03 – 9.48pm – The alcohol has been opened in the house and the housemates are drinking it (bar Leon and Reeco who are on diet cokes) Discussion has turned to the Swans last game of the season and James Thomas uses three cans of worthington to demonstrate his goals in that game. Steve Watkin offers to recreate all his goals over the last three years but the housemates decide that they haven’t got the five minutes to spare.

26.05.03 – 11.12pm – The housemates decide that all of them have to give a reason why Leon should return to Swansea City next season. Myra starts off by promising that there will always be "a smile and a cup of tea for you from the girls in the club shop" whilst Reeco explains "the magnificent Jack Army all of who are magnificent and will give you a magnificent welcome. You will then get loads of magnificent messages on how magnificent you are. TYVM ATB" Jason Smith tells him how wonderful the treatment room is at the Vetch "like a home from home" is the expression that he uses. John Hollins though baffles people when he explains about the special salute that the fans give people that they love. It is only when he demonstrates the salute by sticking two fingers in the air that the rest of them know what he is talking about.

26.05.03 – 11.32pm – The housemates calculate that John Williams has been awake for 16 of the last 30 hours and decide to keep him up until 1am and then let him sleep through the night. They hope that they will be able to do the same to Leon as Myra is getting fed up of having to get up for his 4am feed.

27.05.03 – 12.54am – Reeco has been force fed four cans of cider and is being asked to recite the alphabet. He starts well "A, B, C" but soon falls away and the rest burst into laughter when he finishes "A, T, B". The housemates start to discuss who will leave the house on Friday and wonder how the public voting is going. John Hollins decides that everyone will vote for him "as I won the championship" whilst Leighton decides there is no way he is going home because "I’m great I am"

27.05.03 – 1.29am – John Williams is tucked safely up in bed and Steve Watkin, Myra and Nick Rees are brushing their teeth. Watkin remarks how lucky Myra is to be able to take her teeth out to clean them to which Nick mumbles that anything can be arranged.

27.05.03 – 2.12pm – The housemates all retire to bed for the night. All ten remaining awake housemates gather round Leon’s bed to sing him a lullaby which is led by Reeco "R A B-B, O T T T, W T W B T C W R" (I’ll leave you to work that one out!)

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