BJB – Day 10 – JackArmy.net

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01.06.03 – 8.24am – Another Sunday in the BJB House. Leon Britton and Jason Smith are the first housemates up. Today the housemates will receive their second weekly task and last week’s shopping has been delivered this morning. Leon tucks into the extra Farley’s Rusks that he was able to order from last week’s successful task.

01.06.03 – 9.02am – Leon helps Jason put on the supply of bandages. Three to the head where he squeezed an orange too hard and it squirted him, one to the hand where he caught it on the orange peel and one to the foot where he dropped the orange.

01.06.03 – 10.38am – All the housemates are now up and awaiting instructions on this week’s task. Big Jack Brother has called them all into the lounge. Nick is called into the diary room to receive the envelope with details of the task.

01.06.03 – 10.47am – Nick has read the task to the housemates and they are shocked. All of them. Bar Steve Watkin. The task simply reads "You have three days to train Steve Watkin to hit three goals into the back of a full size net with no goalkeeper in the way. Shots must be taken from 25 yards out and he will only be allowed three attempts on goal – he must score with them all" The debate is now going on as to how much they should bet against this task. Watkin is all for 75% – "How can I miss if there is no keeper" – the remaining housemates are erring on the side of caution and looking more for 25%

01.06.03 – 11.33am – After almost an hour of discussion the housemates agree on 33.33% (James Thomas’ idea) and inform Big Jack Brother of their decision. BJB tells them that the net has been put up in the garden and the balls are in the storeroom. Steve Watkin must complete his task on Wednesday this week and will have just the three shots on goal.

01.06.03 – 12.58pm – The housemates take Steve Watkin into the garden for practice. Nick Rees marks 25 yards from the goal and places the ball down on the spot. The housemates all stand behind Watkin as he takes a run up to the ball – he reaches it – he turns round and passes it back to his remaining housemates. Cue a collective groan.

01.06.03 – 1.04pm – All other 10 housemates have shown Watkin how to do it and now they stand and watch him try again. He runs up to the ball – he hits it – it rolls towards the goal – slowly, slowly, slowly before coming to rest on the penalty area. Peter Owen turns round and punches James Thomas for wasting so much on this task. It looks like next week they could go hungry. Leon Britton hides the rusks before anyone decides to stash them for next week.

01.06.03 – 3.18pm – 48 shots at goal by Steve Watkin have resulted in four complete misses of the ball, eighteen back passes to the midfield area, 6 shots that failed to reach the goal, 18 that missed the target and two that went into the goal (one deflecting off one of the chickens) – the housemates are very down about their chances.

01.06.03 – 5.42pm – The housemates have taken a break from the task and are all in the kitchen making tea. With so much food having arrived this morning this is to be their best meal yet. They have also opened half a dozen bottles of the wine that arrived – it could prove to be a long night in the house.

01.06.03 – 7.51pm – John Williams is teaching Steve Watkin how to shoot at goal. The remaining housemates are sat in the garden for the entertainment factor only. Williams and Watkin have fifteen shots each and tie the game 0-0 before Myra comes on and curls one into the top right hand corner to cries of ‘mis-kick’ from Watkin and Williams. To prove it was no mistake she curls the second into the corner of John Williams testicles.

01.06.03 – 10.42pm – Ten people singing is not a nice sound. Especially after 6 bottles of wine and a litre bottle of Teachers. The eleventh person is not singing – this is John Hollins. The reason being the rest are singing ‘Hollins Out’ and John is the other end of the garden waving to them and hoping they realise how lucky they are.

02.06.03 – 12.04am – The housemates retire to bed and Myra is immediately sick in hers. The housemates turn Leigh Dineen upside down to mop it up. Leighton James makes the simple comment "call that sick, this is real sick" and promptly throws up all over his bed. The housemates make him sleep in it.

02.06.03 – 12.37am – Another day passes in the Big Jack Brother house with all the housemates now asleep. Steve Watkin dreams of scoring all three goals – he can dream on at this rate!

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