Moments of cringe and squirm

[tim_healings]

Since my mums sight went downhill about 10 years ago my dad has accompanied her on the big weekly shop.

It annoyed my dad that mum used to procure a great many unnecessary items to the point that one day, he had, what was described to me as an ‘episode’ in Sainsbury’s in the marina area.

Dad doesn’t take a lot of notice really but turned around to witness 3 boxes of crunchy nut cornflakes going in the trolley. Aghast, pops marches over and proceeds to remove 2 boxes from the trolley whilst barking “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, WE DONT BLOODY NEED 3 BOXES OF CRUNCHY NUT”. It was an awful moment as the unfortunate woman, who wasn’t my mum, turned around and apologised for the dreadful deed of stockpiling cereal.

Worst thing about it is mum was banned from the shop upon enjoying this spectacle at the end of the aisle, so much so that she deposited the contents of her bladder over Lloyd grossmans pasta sauces

 

[Darran]

Since my mums sight went downhill about 10 years ago my dad has accompanied her on the big weekly shop.

It annoyed my dad that mum used to procure a great many unnecessary items to the point that one day, he had, what was described to me as an ‘episode’ in Sainsbury’s in the marina area.

Dad doesn’t take a lot of notice really but turned around to witness 3 boxes of crunchy nut cornflakes going in the trolley. Aghast, pops marches over and proceeds to remove 2 boxes from the trolley whilst barking “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, WE DONT BLOODY NEED 3 BOXES OF CRUNCHY NUT”. It was an awful moment as the unfortunate woman, who wasn’t my mum, turned around and apologised for the dreadful deed of stockpiling cereal.

Worst thing about it is mum was banned from the shop upon enjoying this spectacle at the end of the aisle, so much so that she deposited the contents of her bladder over Lloyd grossmans pasta sauces

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[dickythorpe]

Expertly described

 

[Hunnymonster]

Fair play

 

[PSumbler]

MOments of great humour missing from so many

Great OP

 

[dickythorpe]

Tim, have you ever seen a child being disciplined by a stressed out mother whilst on a shopping expedition?
Marks and Spencer seems to attract the most loud children and tough as teak mothers.

The slaps I have heard but not seen only to be accompanied seconds later by wailing still shudder me and rock me to my core.

The frustration of a sexually repressed mother plus an unruly child is an equation like no other.

 

[sainthelens]

Tim, have you ever seen a child being disciplined by a stressed out mother whilst on a shopping expedition?
Marks and Spencer seems to attract the most loud children and tough as teak mothers.

The slaps I have heard but not seen only to be accompanied seconds later by wailing still shudder me and rock me to my core.

The frustration of a sexually repressed mother plus an unruly child is an equation like no other.

Brilliant analogy.

 

[tim_healings]

Tim, have you ever seen a child being disciplined by a stressed out mother whilst on a shopping expedition?
Marks and Spencer seems to attract the most loud children and tough as teak mothers.

The slaps I have heard but not seen only to be accompanied seconds later by wailing still shudder me and rock me to my core.

The frustration of a sexually repressed mother plus an unruly child is an equation like no other.

About 1994 one of my brothers who was an apprentice quantity surveyor came home to mum and dads and popped a jacket potato in the microwave for lunch. Quite harmless you would think, but mum was very upset at the sheer cheek of this action and proceeded to chastise the hungry hombre with a series of verbal opinions.

“Eating me out of house and home” was one.
“Buy your own spuds” another.

Each comment getting worse than the last until we ended with “There’s people starving in Africa, and the amount you eat in a day could sustain a whole village for a week you fat bastard”

Mum got back in the car and my brother flung the offending spud at the windscreen exclaiming “there’s your b*****d spud, have it”.

The explosion of tattie caused mum to reverse into next doors conifer which she’d wanted removed for years. Silver linings and all!

 

[Jinxy]

I have so many stories about my father - he was a DIY disaster zone really and a hell of a boy. I was 16 and one day he annoyed me by leaning his push bike against my brand new Suzuki TS50, scratching the tank in the process. He then asked me to drive the car over the garage pit for him (well that always turned out to be me) to work on it - he was facing me, guiding the car. My annoyance turned into a rage by this point, so much so that I clean forgot why the car was being worked on, which was to bleed the non-existent brakes. Yep, you've guessed it, I drove too fast and pinned him against the garage wall. Luckily no broken bones so no police involved etc.!