Taking The Pish!

Wednesday, 21 March 2001, 0:00
1 min read

If only they looked at the simple answer that 9th floor’s lack of investment along with having a manager who struggles to differentiate his @rse from his elbow never mind tactical awareness has led to the downfall of the club this season instead of looking for the super-natural.

The only use personally that I could see of having the Voodoo doctors in would be creating Voodoo dolls of the John Hollins, Neil McClure & Mike Lewis so that you could stick the pin in to get them to run back to London and leave our poor club alone!

The club have asked a Kenyan circus act to perform a voodoo dance in an attempt to rid their ground of evil influences. Uri Geller – infamous spoon-bender and Michael Jackson’s best mate – alerted the club about the presence of ‘black spirits’ (whatever they are) at the ground when he recently paid us a visit. So, instead of the club taking the necessary action and perhaps signing the odd player or two, they hired the Kenyan Boys who are currently working their bigtop magic with the Cottle & Austen circus on a tour of Britain.

Communications Manager Peter Owen said, without any apparent trace of irony: “They’ve asked to help out and so we invited them to come along. When Uri Geller visited us a while ago he said there were black spirits at the club. He even claimed these spirits caused the suicide of one of our players, Tich Evans, who played here in the 1920s.”

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Images courtesy of Getty Images, Athena Picture Agency and Swansea City Football Club.
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