Secret Diary – 12-19 Aug

Monday, 20 August 2001, 0:00
2 mins read

Monday 13 August

Gave the players the day off as they said they had played a game on Saturday. I decided to use the spare time to catch up on some reading. I am now on Playfair annual 1993 but I am yet to see any naked footballers. Strange as I thought everything on the top shelf contained things like that.

Tuesday 14 August

Alan said he was going to redo my kitchen floor with "A fine Lino" but I was more than a little surprised when he changed his mind and took me to a football match instead. We won 2-1 which was a good clean sheet to keep and that should put us top of the league now. When I asked Alan about the kitchen on the way home he said "daft twat" so I went to sleep (with my arms folded)

Wednesday 15 August

I knew I was right. We were second in the 2nd division last year – I knew we would be good enough that will prove the doubters wrong. All last season I told my critics to give it "a rest" and now it proves that arrests are good enough to get you promoted. I expect the football league will now wipe the Macclesfield game from the record books and I believe we are playing Manchester City on Saturday.

Thursday 16 August

I am a little confused today. Mr Owen said that we had called the Plymouth game off because of Whales. They must have serious problems with their pitch at Home Park if Whales are swimming on it. Mr Owen then said that I would have to let five of my players go to Whales which must be a new football league directive. Who am I to argue?

Friday 17 August

Spent the day preparing for a game tomorrow. I wanted to play golf for a change but Alan insisted that we have to play football on Saturdays. It’s not fair. Looking at the team that played last week I think I will play the same team after all we did win. If I play the same team every week and we win every week then I think we may do OK this season.

Saturday 18 August

Alan was right we did have to play football this afternoon. We drew 0-0 with Oxford. One of our players played for them, not too sure why but we could do with a battling midfielder. I shall have to find out why that nice Mr Thomas wanted to play for them. Some of the crowd booed at the end of the game but I think it was out of disappointment that such an entertaining game had finished.

Sunday 19 August

A very surreal day. Young Stuart tells me that he got a kick in a calf’s head on Saturday which I find a bit odd, I think that Yorkshire air may have got to him. I spent the afternoon reading the fan’s reports on that internet thing. I don’t know what game they watched but it must have been a different one to me. The one I saw had five goals and that Mr Van NettleRoy scored a couple of goals. I thought it was quite good anyway!
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