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Poster Profiles – Watchman887 |
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JackArmy.net accepts no liability for the inaccuracy of any poster profile. They are written with humour in mind and we cannot guarantee the accuracy of the information contained nor the similarity in the pictures used. POSTER PROFILE – Watchman887 Watchman – AKA “The Roofmeister”, AKA “Mr. Brightside”, AKA “Stevie Wonder” (real name unknown), was born in the Swansea area sometime in the 1960’s. From a family with a history in military intelligence, “Roof” was coached in the arts of incognitocity and disguise before he could chew solid food. As soon as he could walk, his father decided to teach him how to lose enemy agents in crowds, so he took him to the Vetch on a Saturday afternoon. Here they could practice evasion drills on the North Bank, mainly by insulting the flared trousers worn by the “Top Boys” at the time, and then losing them after hiding in the toilets. An interest in the goings on on the pitch developed however, and more than a few kickings resulted from Roof getting caught up in the play, and forgetting to do the hiding part. Schooldays were interesting for Stevie, as instinct did not allow him to advertise his presence during registration. As a result of this, the local Education Welfare Officer contacted his family so often to query young Roof’s lack of attendance at school that he eventually had to be killed and buried in the foundations for the then under construction Swansea Leisure Centre lest he disclose what he knew. After finishing his education with A’ levels in Maths, P.E. and Home Economics, Watch eventually became so good at disguising himself that he entered and won Miss World in 1987, an event held in Egypt. Trailing in third place after the swimsuit contest, he wowed the judges during the personality round when he stated that his ambitions were to “See World Peace”, and to “Work with Children”. Indeed the Spanish Judge was so smitten that a proposal of marriage was soon forthcoming. Beating a hasty retreat from his unwanted Iberian Paramour, Roof ended up jumping on the first Dhow out of Cairo. Unfortunately for him, it was heading to Jerusalem. After arriving in the Israeli capital, and having his job application to Mossad turned down, he took to the life of an itinerant wanderer, soaking up the ambiance of the Holy Land. This eventually had a long lasting effect on him, and deeply held religious beliefs exist in his soul to this day. Eventually, despite enjoying the sparseness and the lack of development of the desert, Roof grew tired of the heat and dust, and decided to head back to the UK. Plumping for Wiltshire as a cooler twin of his Middle Eastern home, he settled into the area and married under an assumed name that was inspired by a hippy he once met at Glastonbury who admired his fake Rolex. All these years of wandering did not ease Watch’s love of his home city however, and thanks to the invention of the Internet, he was able to both protect his identity and keep in touch with his beloved football club. His military leanings meant he naturally gravitated toward the “Jack – Army” site, and he remains a regular there to this day, bestowing blessings on his fellow posters, and lecturing them on security from his post as the FNC Home Secretary. Blessed Be. Favourite Food – Soup of the Day Favourite Drink – Pear Cider Most likely to say – “You ain’t seen me, roight?” Least Likely to Say – “My name is, My name is, My name is ehehehehe” in an Eminem stylee All time Hero – Reilly, Ace of Spies Favourite visiting fan – Steve_CCFC Swansea’s version of – Euclid WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THIS SERIES? CLICK HERE TO E-MAIL US YOUR OWN POSTER PROFILES. PLEASE USE THE ABOVE AS A GUIDELINE TO WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR You May Like |