John102
First Team Player
My mate collapsed on the London Eye, but staff say he will come round soon.
Most visitors online was 23949 , on 14 Feb 26
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Thank you very much | Diolch yn fawr
All at JackArmy.net would like to thank everyone who has played a part on this site over the past 25 years whether that is through writing, contributing, moderating, posting or just visting and reading.
Without any of you the work that has gone into the site would have been pointless and we will always be proud that we built, generated and managed a community that was such a big part of the Swansea City supporting life for so long.
It has been a pleasure to bring to you the site for so long but the time is now right to turn the lights out for the last time but we do it both with a heavy heart and a sense of pride driven by the so many messages received since we announced the closure.
The site will remain here for a period until we archive and mothball it for the last time later this summer but all aspects are in a read only format.
Thank you though for all the memories
Phil Sumbler
Owner, jackarmy.net
Joke Thread
- Thread starter Muteswan
- Start date
- Replies: Replies 364
- Views: Views 97,126
A young, new, straight from school young lady started at the local surgery as a trainee receptionist. Her morning was going well until Mr.Jones, a plain speaking man came to her desk. "Could I see the doctor please" asked Mr.Jones. " Certainly" said the young receptionist, "what's it about?" "It's my cock innit" said Mr.Jones. The young lady ran over to the senior receptionist embarrassed and crying. The receptionist came over to Mr.Jones, berating him for being so tactless, "You could have said it was your knee or your wrist anything" the senior receptionist said. Next time use discretion" A month or so later Mr.Jones was at the surgery again, and by coincidence saw the same young trainee, again she asked what did he want to see the doctor for. "It's my elbow innit" said Mr.Jones, "Oh" said the young receptionist "and whats wrong with your elbow?" "Can't piss through it" said Mr.Jones.
Darran
Roger Freestone
https://twitter.com/dazpross/status/1315979361326112768?s=21
Longlostjack
Ivor Allchurch
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2020
- Messages
- 4,373
- Reaction score
- 601
- Location
- Bratwurst and Beer Land
- LOCATION
- Bremen Germany
What was the punchline?
Longlostjack
Ivor Allchurch
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2020
- Messages
- 4,373
- Reaction score
- 601
- Location
- Bratwurst and Beer Land
- LOCATION
- Bremen Germany
Muteswan said:
Thanks Mute. Keep up the good work !
TheLoneRanger
Roger Freestone
The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, ”My family went to my grandad's farm and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating”
The teacher said, ”That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate', not fascinating'”
Sally raised her hand. She said, ”My family went to see the circus and I was 'fascinated'”
The teacher said, ”Well that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate'”
Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate" ... so she called on him.
Johnny said, ”My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Molly put up her hand and said, ”My family went to my grandad's farm and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating”
The teacher said, ”That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate', not fascinating'”
Sally raised her hand. She said, ”My family went to see the circus and I was 'fascinated'”
The teacher said, ”Well that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate'”
Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate" ... so she called on him.
Johnny said, ”My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight”
The teacher sat down and cried.
TheLoneRanger
Roger Freestone
airedale
Lee Trundle
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2020
- Messages
- 1,894
- Reaction score
- 53
The visiting church school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class who broke down the walls of Jericho. Little Johnny replies that he does not know, but it definitely is not him. The supervisor, taken aback by this lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident. The principal replies that he knows little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them, if little Johnny said that he did not do it, he as principal is satisfied that it is the truth. Even more appalled the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story. After listening he replies: "I cannot see why you are making such a big issue out of this; we will get three quotations and fix the damned wall."
Muteswan
Roger Freestone
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2020
- Messages
- 9,649
- Reaction score
- 1,429
All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
Trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."
I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
And insulted him,
So in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,
The stomach was bloated,
The legs got wobbly,
The eyes got watery,
And the blood was toxic..
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
.
The Moral of the story?
Even though the others do all the work...
An Arse Hole is usually in charge
Trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."
I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
And insulted him,
So in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,
The stomach was bloated,
The legs got wobbly,
The eyes got watery,
And the blood was toxic..
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
.
The Moral of the story?
Even though the others do all the work...
An Arse Hole is usually in charge
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