You are the most miserable of the lot.
You don't attend games (you're not alone), but are all over threads constantly whining about how shite we are. If you cannot enjoy the simple wins without harking back to what we had, following football isn't for you. You cannot wait to jump on mistakes, or a poor performance, but never reciprocate following a win, why is that?
Genuinely, can you remember going to a game, standing with your mates (or even just the bloke or woman that sits next to you), shooting the s**t, all whilst watching a game of football? Because that seems to be forgotten by many. It's the anticipation, the camaraderie, the highs, the lows, and everything else that goes with it.
Chill out and smile a bit more, look for positives instead of constant negatives.