Muteswan
Roger Freestone
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Well I have known my wife for over 50 years!Superb.
Not autobiographical though is it?
Most visitors online was 23949 , on 14 Feb 26
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Thank you very much | Diolch yn fawr
All at JackArmy.net would like to thank everyone who has played a part on this site over the past 25 years whether that is through writing, contributing, moderating, posting or just visting and reading.
Without any of you the work that has gone into the site would have been pointless and we will always be proud that we built, generated and managed a community that was such a big part of the Swansea City supporting life for so long.
It has been a pleasure to bring to you the site for so long but the time is now right to turn the lights out for the last time but we do it both with a heavy heart and a sense of pride driven by the so many messages received since we announced the closure.
The site will remain here for a period until we archive and mothball it for the last time later this summer but all aspects are in a read only format.
Thank you though for all the memories
Phil Sumbler
Owner, jackarmy.net
Joke Thread
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Darran
Roger Freestone
Darran
Roger Freestone
Mr. Dickson, the science teacher, asked his year 6 class one day if anyone knew how to put 2 holes into 1 hole.
Since no one was able to answer the question, he told the kids to go home and ask their fathers.They came back the next day and still no one knew the answer.
"Look," said Mr. Dickson while holding his index finger against his thumb, forming a little "zero."
"This is one hole, my nose has 2 holes, and I can put my hand over my nose and make my nose holes appear insi...de this other hole.""Aaaaaaahhhhhh," said the children.
The next day, Little Johnny stood up and said, "Mr. Dickson,my daddy wants to know if you know how to put 7 holes in 1 hole. "Hmmmm," he thought,
"How can you put 7 holes in 1? Well, I'll be darned; I don't know how to do that. Um, did your father tell you how to?"
Yes," said Little Johnny, "You take a flute and shove it up your arse!!..
Since no one was able to answer the question, he told the kids to go home and ask their fathers.They came back the next day and still no one knew the answer.
"Look," said Mr. Dickson while holding his index finger against his thumb, forming a little "zero."
"This is one hole, my nose has 2 holes, and I can put my hand over my nose and make my nose holes appear insi...de this other hole.""Aaaaaaahhhhhh," said the children.
The next day, Little Johnny stood up and said, "Mr. Dickson,my daddy wants to know if you know how to put 7 holes in 1 hole. "Hmmmm," he thought,
"How can you put 7 holes in 1? Well, I'll be darned; I don't know how to do that. Um, did your father tell you how to?"
Yes," said Little Johnny, "You take a flute and shove it up your arse!!..
TheLoneRanger
Roger Freestone
One rainy night in Newcastle, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley
Even before he rolled to a stop at the kerb the figure leapt into the cab and slammed the door shut
Checking in his rear view mirror as he pulled away. He was startled to see a dripping wet naked woman sitting on the back seat
"Wwwhere to" ?? he stammered.
"Walker Road" answered the woman.
"OK" he said, Taking another long glance in the mirror.
The woman caught him staring at her and asked, "Just what the hell are you looking at" ??
"Well Pet" replied the driver, "I canna help noticing that you're completely naked, and I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare" ??
The woman spread her legs wide, putting her feet up on the front seat - smiled at the driver and said, "Does THIS answer your question" ??
Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked her
"Have yer not got owt smaller" ??
Even before he rolled to a stop at the kerb the figure leapt into the cab and slammed the door shut
Checking in his rear view mirror as he pulled away. He was startled to see a dripping wet naked woman sitting on the back seat
"Wwwhere to" ?? he stammered.
"Walker Road" answered the woman.
"OK" he said, Taking another long glance in the mirror.
The woman caught him staring at her and asked, "Just what the hell are you looking at" ??
"Well Pet" replied the driver, "I canna help noticing that you're completely naked, and I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare" ??
The woman spread her legs wide, putting her feet up on the front seat - smiled at the driver and said, "Does THIS answer your question" ??
Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked her
"Have yer not got owt smaller" ??
TheLoneRanger
Roger Freestone
Apparently Indian fighter pilots have dropped 1000 onion bhajis and 500 nan breads on Pakistan....
They said ... "That's just for starters"
They said ... "That's just for starters"
TheLoneRanger
Roger Freestone
A guy says to his wife ... "Why don't you ever tell me when you orgasm??"
She replied ... "Because I don't like ringing you at work!!"
She replied ... "Because I don't like ringing you at work!!"
Muteswan
Roger Freestone
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After 10 years, the wife started noticing their child looked a little… different and not at all like either of them. So she did a DNA test and found out the child wasn’t theirs
She told her husband, and he said,
"Don’t you remember? When we were leaving the hospital, the baby pooped and you told me to change him… so I did. I went back in, got a clean one, and left the dirty one there."
The wife fainted.
She told her husband, and he said,
"Don’t you remember? When we were leaving the hospital, the baby pooped and you told me to change him… so I did. I went back in, got a clean one, and left the dirty one there."
The wife fainted.
Muteswan
Roger Freestone
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My wife was in labour when the nurse said it was time to push.
She gave it everything she had, until a fart, that from sound and stench, had obviously followed through. She was mortified.
"Don't worry," i said, patting her head. "I've heard this kind of thing is perfectly natural during birth. Isn't that right nurse?"
"Yes," said the nurse gagging, "But it's usually the mother not the father!.."
She gave it everything she had, until a fart, that from sound and stench, had obviously followed through. She was mortified.
"Don't worry," i said, patting her head. "I've heard this kind of thing is perfectly natural during birth. Isn't that right nurse?"
"Yes," said the nurse gagging, "But it's usually the mother not the father!.."
I went to a fortune teller yesterday. She had a veil covering her face which unnerved me so I asked her to remove it.
She told me that if I set eyes on her I would be so astounded by her beauty that I would turn into a dog.
Then I saw her face
Now I’m a retriever
She told me that if I set eyes on her I would be so astounded by her beauty that I would turn into a dog.
Then I saw her face
Now I’m a retriever
stevethejack
Mel Nurse
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D
Deleted member 1454
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Natalie Imbruglia refused an episiotomy.
She said "I'm already torn..."
She said "I'm already torn..."
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