Joke Thread

[Muteswan]

Nurse said to the doctor “There’s a guy outside in the waiting room, thinks he’s invisible “.
The doctor replied “Tell him I can’t see him today”.

 

[J_B]

A bloke just drove past the house on a tractor shouting “It’s the end of the world”.

It must have been farmer Geddon.

 

[Muteswan]

I arrived early at the restaurant last night.
The manager asked “Do you mind waiting for a while?”
“Not at all” I replied.
“Good” he said, “Take these two pizzas to table 6”.

 

[Muteswan]

After a while, Dr. Frankenstein realised that he had completely misunderstood the idea of the body building contest.

 

[Muteswan]

Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.
Shocking

 

[Flashberryjack]

Paddy stormed into his doctor's examination room, and shouted at the doctor "for all the good these bloody Suppositories are doing, I may as well have stuck em up my arse"

 

[Muteswan]

If Mary is the Mother of Jesus, and Jesus is the Lamb of God, does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?

 

[Muteswan]

My 5 year old granddaughter kept following me around whilst carrying a bucket.
I asked her what the bucket was for and she said...
“Dad says when you kick the bucket, we’ll be rich!!”

 

[Muteswan]

A woman with small breasts buys a finely carved mirror at an antique shop and hangs it on her bathroom door:
The next morning, she playfully says.
"Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my boobs size 44."
There is a flash of light, and her boobs grow to enormous proportions.
She runs to tell her husband what happened and in minutes they both return.
The husband crosses his fingers and says.
"Mirror, mirror, on the door, make my penis touch the floor."
There's a flash of light, and both of his legs fall off..

 

[Best_loser]

Irish dog sitting down chewing a bone

Gets up and his back leg fell off

 

[Muteswan]

Removed

This is a joke thread not a moronic comment thread. That is not a suitable remark for this site.

 

[TheLoneRanger]

... "DID YOU KNOW THAT" ...

When the DNA results from Osama Bin Laden's body came back.

They contained ...

52% coconut ... 28% chocolate ... 12% milk ... and 8% sugar.

Forensic experts said this was probably due to the fact that,

"He had a Bounty on his head" ...!!

 

[Best_loser]

Removed

This is a joke thread not a moronic comment thread. That is not a suitable remark for this site.

You mean you don't know who it is ?

 

[Muteswan]

This is a joke thread not a moronic comment thread. That is not a suitable remark for this site.

You mean you don't know who it is ?

I have no idea who he is, and to be honest have no interest in knowing him. It is still not anything that should be posted on here.

 

[Darran]

This is a joke thread not a moronic comment thread. That is not a suitable remark for this site.

You mean you don't know who it is ?

Who is it?