TimBowen
Youth Team Apprentice
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2020
- Messages
- 48
- Reaction score
- 6
I find articulating the reasons I've stopped going down a depressing experience. I try not to think about it too much, as that realisation hurts.
I'm trying not to be melodramatic about this, but this thread...in the same way people say about the benefits of therapy, reading how fellow fans feel, previously fanatical supporters at that, is enabling me to open up to my own guilt (and that feels like the most appropriate term I can use) about not having attended for the last 2-3 seasons.
Since being taken down to the Vetch aged 5, in 1962 by my father and grandfather, the love and passion for the club/team was intense, all consuming. I described it recently to a decades long, Swans fan friend. Saying the Swans have been the only thing in my life, that has been with me all my life, nothing, or no-one else has. So in choosing not to attend, even though I still buy my season ticket, I can't help the feeling I'm betraying what the Swans have given me for over 60 years.
The bond the Swans gave me with my father and grandfather when growing up was a huge part of our relationships. I didn't have a child, a son, until aged 38, and I yearned to create that bond with him too. I took him down to the Vetch when we were 6 points adrift of safety, and heading for the Vauxhall Conference (as it was) January 25th 2003. We beat play-off positioned Lincoln City that day and sharing those tumultuous days with him, in escaping the drop, formed that ongoing love for the Swans from him too. Again, the same life-long, the greatest gift, my dad gave me, I was able to pass on to my son too.
People say about 'the gift that keeps on giving,' being indoctrinated into the 'Swans family' is certainly one of those.
I agree with so many points raised by fellow posters in this thread. Quite a few appear to be of a similar age and have experienced all the same highs and lows. Monmouth's descriptive post was excellent, echoing many of my sentiments. And Darren's point about enjoying the experience with his grandson, made me think how that may well encourage me back to the .Com some day. But at the moment Swans TV is my focal point on matchdays.
I suppose I feel, in not going, I'm letting people down. A bunch of friends who I've sat beside in the West since the stadium opened in 2005. My son, because I'm not going down I feel the 'experience' for him isn't the same either, in not celebrating together, maintaining that bond, when crucial goals are scored. The club too, my plans and lifestyle centred on the fixture list, but nowhere near to the same extent now.
Is it an age thing, I don't know, but football first grabbed me by the gonads because of the entertainment value. That is very much a secondary (third?) objective now. Not just with the Swans, but football in general...did you witness the 'cowardly' Man. Utd performance yesterday? The matchday experience doesn't inspire anywhere near to the same extent anymore.
We've been spoiled folks, we've been there and done it. It's like I'm grieving, for those past days, even when we were shit, but when it all excited/inspired me to want to go next time again...but certainly not at the moment.
I'm trying not to be melodramatic about this, but this thread...in the same way people say about the benefits of therapy, reading how fellow fans feel, previously fanatical supporters at that, is enabling me to open up to my own guilt (and that feels like the most appropriate term I can use) about not having attended for the last 2-3 seasons.
Since being taken down to the Vetch aged 5, in 1962 by my father and grandfather, the love and passion for the club/team was intense, all consuming. I described it recently to a decades long, Swans fan friend. Saying the Swans have been the only thing in my life, that has been with me all my life, nothing, or no-one else has. So in choosing not to attend, even though I still buy my season ticket, I can't help the feeling I'm betraying what the Swans have given me for over 60 years.
The bond the Swans gave me with my father and grandfather when growing up was a huge part of our relationships. I didn't have a child, a son, until aged 38, and I yearned to create that bond with him too. I took him down to the Vetch when we were 6 points adrift of safety, and heading for the Vauxhall Conference (as it was) January 25th 2003. We beat play-off positioned Lincoln City that day and sharing those tumultuous days with him, in escaping the drop, formed that ongoing love for the Swans from him too. Again, the same life-long, the greatest gift, my dad gave me, I was able to pass on to my son too.
People say about 'the gift that keeps on giving,' being indoctrinated into the 'Swans family' is certainly one of those.
I agree with so many points raised by fellow posters in this thread. Quite a few appear to be of a similar age and have experienced all the same highs and lows. Monmouth's descriptive post was excellent, echoing many of my sentiments. And Darren's point about enjoying the experience with his grandson, made me think how that may well encourage me back to the .Com some day. But at the moment Swans TV is my focal point on matchdays.
I suppose I feel, in not going, I'm letting people down. A bunch of friends who I've sat beside in the West since the stadium opened in 2005. My son, because I'm not going down I feel the 'experience' for him isn't the same either, in not celebrating together, maintaining that bond, when crucial goals are scored. The club too, my plans and lifestyle centred on the fixture list, but nowhere near to the same extent now.
Is it an age thing, I don't know, but football first grabbed me by the gonads because of the entertainment value. That is very much a secondary (third?) objective now. Not just with the Swans, but football in general...did you witness the 'cowardly' Man. Utd performance yesterday? The matchday experience doesn't inspire anywhere near to the same extent anymore.
We've been spoiled folks, we've been there and done it. It's like I'm grieving, for those past days, even when we were shit, but when it all excited/inspired me to want to go next time again...but certainly not at the moment.