• Thank you very much | Diolch yn fawr

    All at JackArmy.net would like to thank everyone who has played a part on this site over the past 25 years whether that is through writing, contributing, moderating, posting or just visting and reading.

    Without any of you the work that has gone into the site would have been pointless and we will always be proud that we built, generated and managed a community that was such a big part of the Swansea City supporting life for so long.

    It has been a pleasure to bring to you the site for so long but the time is now right to turn the lights out for the last time but we do it both with a heavy heart and a sense of pride driven by the so many messages received since we announced the closure.

    The site will remain here for a period until we archive and mothball it for the last time later this summer but all aspects are in a read only format.

    Thank you though for all the memories

    Phil Sumbler
    Owner, jackarmy.net

Joke Thread

  • Thread starter Thread starter Muteswan
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Met a guy from Haringey the other day...said it was a great place to hang out...if you were a bullet....
 
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How do you present a fat girl with a dilemma?


Buy her a pair of chocolate shoes.
 
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown
 
A man was working in the garden and his wife was about to take a shower.

He realized that he couldn't find the rake.. and yelled up to his wife,

"Where is the rake?"

She couldn't hear and she shouted back, "What?"

He pointed to his eye, and then pointed to his knee and made a raking motion.

his wife wasn't sure and said "What?"

He repeated the gestures. "Eye - Kneed - The Rake"

His wife replied that she understands and signals back.

She first points to her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her backside, and finally to her crotch.

Well, there is no way in hell IHe could even come close to that one.

Exasperated, He went upstairs and asked her, "What the hell was that?"

She replies:

"Eye - Left Tit - Behind - The Bush" !!!
 
Me and the missus went out the other night.
Whilst getting ready, she said to me. Do you know this is the same thing I wore when we first went out together 25 years ago and it still fits. I turned to her and said....but its a scarf. 🤷‍♂️
 
I was at my local Tesco yesterday buying a large bag of Pedigree Chum dog food for my Daughters Springer Spaniel and i was at the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog......

What did she think, I had an elephant...? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Pedigree Chum Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.....

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Pedigree Chum and simply eat one or two bits every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.....
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both......

I thought the guy behind her was going to piss himself he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tesco’s.....

Be very careful......
Be very careful what you ask older people!! They have all the time in the world to think up daft answers......
 
Swanjaxs said:
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

That's so bad its brilliant. :lol:
 

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